


You Are The Reason

by benhalfway



Series: Ballum One Shots [6]
Category: Ballum, EastEnders (TV)
Genre: Deaf Character, M/M, Slow Dancing, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, soft, soft boyfriends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-25
Updated: 2020-08-25
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:33:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,351
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26098681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/benhalfway/pseuds/benhalfway
Summary: Ben's operation was successful. He hasn't got his hearing back completely but he can somewhat hear again, and it's all he's wanted for so, so long now.To celebrate this, he does one of the things he's wanted to do the most since he lost his hearing. He listens to music.
Relationships: Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell
Series: Ballum One Shots [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1571590
Comments: 10
Kudos: 40





	You Are The Reason

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Babygayness](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Babygayness/gifts).



> I hope I’ve done this justice. I’m not deaf or HOH or anything of the sort so I can’t really empathise, but I’ve tried my best to understand how Ben is feeling.
> 
> I hope this is okay!
> 
> All my love,  
> Chloe xx

Before Callum has even made it up the stairs to the flat, Ben is bursting through the door with an excited grin on his face.

Callum can't help but smile, shaking his head in amusement. It's so relieving to see Ben happy again.

As he makes it into the flat himself, he finds Ben at the sink, turning both of the taps on and listening to the water fall.

Callum's smile falters a little as he remembers the day they were reunited and Ben had a breakdown over his hearing.

However, when Ben turns around with a big tearful grin, he knows this time it's different. Ben's okay. More than okay. He's happy.

He barely has time to react before Ben is sprinting towards him and jumping into his arms. He stumbles to catch him, smiling once he does.

He worries at first when he sees that Ben is crying, but he's relieved when he realises he's not crying because he's sad.

He's crying because he's happy. Beyond happy. So happy he doesn't know how to properly express it.

Callum brings a hand to the back of his head, gently threading his fingers through his hair, being mindful of the implant as he does so.

"Are you happy?"

Ben looks up then, his face flooded with tears, and smiles brightly.

"Oh, Callum. Happy doesn't even _begin_ to describe it. I just- I can hear again. I can actually _hear_. Yeah, it's not perfect but it never has been. I can hear your voice and- and Lexi's. God, I never thought I'd hear your voices ever again! That was the worst part. Losing my hearing is the worst thing that's ever happened to me, not being able to hear your voice when I wake up in the morning or Lexi's when she comes barrelling in after school. It's been so _lonely_."

He sighs, wiping his tears on his sleeve. Callum leans forward and presses a soft kiss to his forehead.

"You don't ever have to feel lonely again. I'll always be here, Ben."

Ben smiles, his eyes shining from where they're still glossed over with tears. Callum can't help but think how beautiful he looks, even with the tears and his red puffy eyes.

"I love you, Cal."

"I love you too, Ben. So, so much."

Ben starts leaning in so Callum takes the cue and follows suit, meeting him halfway and kissing him softly. Ben lets out a small, happy sigh, smiling against Callum's lips, and Callum can't help but smile with him.

When Ben pulls away, he has a twinkle in his eyes. A twinkle Callum knows all too well. Ben is planning something.

"What are you planning?"

Ben just shrugs and smiles, skipping over to the bluetooth speaker and turning it on.

Callum watches him curiously as he proceeds to tap away on his phone, a thoughtful look on his face.

Callum's curiosity soon turns into glee when the speakers come to life, playing a song that Ben chose.

The song is You Are The Reason by Calum Scott. _Their_ song.

Callum smiles, and he feels tears prickling his eyes as Ben shyly walks up to him, wrapping his arms around his neck and pressing a chaste kiss to his lips.

_There goes my heart beating_

_Cause you are the reason_

_I'm losing my sleep_

_Please come back now_

Callum wraps his arms around Ben's waist, pulling him as close as possible before dropping a soft kiss to the top of his head.

Ben smiles warmly, resting his head on Callum's chest and allowing himself to feel, as well as hear, the music as it reverberates around the room.

_There goes my mind racing_

_And you are the reason_

_That I'm still breathing_

_I'm hopeless now_

"You remembered our song."

Callum can't keep his smile contained as he says it. It's been so long since they've listened to music together, since everything was normal.

Life for the two of them has been pretty hectic over the past several months to say the least, but now it seems they're getting back on track, and Callum couldn't possibly be happier.

_I'd climb every mountain_

_And swim every ocean_

_Just to be with you_

_And fix what I've broken_

_Oh, cause I need you to see_

_That you are the reason_

"Of course I did. We danced to it on our first proper date. I could never forget that."

Ben stands on his tip toes to give Callum a small peck on the lips, and Callum tightens his grip around him ever so slightly.

"Plus I listened to it pretty much every day that you weren't here back at Christmas."

He's sheepish as he admits it, and Callum can't help but smile, bringing the hand that's in Ben's hair down to his face and lightly stroking his cheek.

_There goes my hands shaking_

_And you are the reason_

_My heart keeps bleeding_

_I need you now_

"Do you wanna dance now?"

Ben beams at the idea, nodding his head rapidly, and Callum has to stop himself from cooing at the sight.

_If I could turn back the clock_

_I'd make sure the light defeated the dark_

_I'd spend every hour of every day_

_Keeping you safe_

"C'mere then."

He tucks the smaller man into his chest, resting his chin on top of his head, and Ben smiles as they start to slowly sway.

_I'd climb every mountain_

_And swim every ocean_

_Just to be with you_

_And fix what I've broken_

_Oh, I need you to see_

_That you are the reason_

It's only during the last few lines of the chorus that Callum realises Ben is singing quietly. He smiles fondly, dropping a soft kiss to the top of his head.

_I don't wanna fight no more_

_I don't wanna hide no more_

_I don't wanna cry no more_

_Come back, I need you to hold me_

_(You are the reason)_

_Come a little closer now_

_Just a little closer now_

_Come a little closer_

_I need you to hold me tight_

Ben feels himself tearing up as he fully takes in the words of the song. He's heard it a million times and yet it never fails to make him cry. It's like every word was written about them.

_I'd climb every mountain_

_And swim every ocean_

_Just to be with you_

_And fix what I've broken_

_Oh, I need you to see_

_That you are the reason_

By the end of the song, Ben is sobbing quietly into Callum's chest. Callum litters his hair with soft kisses, gently rubbing his arm, soothing him.

"I love you, Cal. So, so, so much."

Callum smiles warmly, gently tilting Ben's chin up so he's looking up at him. He carefully wipes his tears away with the pads of his thumbs before leaning in and kissing him softly and slowly.

Ben kisses back, his hands travelling up and down Callum's sides, just needing to feel something. Feel that Callum is here. Feel that this is actually real and not just a dream.

When they eventually pull apart, Callum rests his forehead on Ben's, gazing lovingly into his bright blue eyes.

"I love you too, Ben. More than you will ever know."

They spend the next half an hour dancing, or more like lightly swaying to every song that comes on, and Ben doesn't think he's felt this happy, this carefree in a long time.

He feels complete with Callum. He feels safe, secure, _at home_. For Ben, home isn't their flat, or his room at his dad's house. Home is wherever Callum is.

He remembers Callum saying _I will be anywhere that you are_ , and even though it was said in the worst possible moment, it's stuck with him.

Because he was right. Home isn't always a building. Home can be a place, a person, anything. Anything that makes you feel safe, secure and happy.

Ben has found his forever home with Callum. Callum _is_ his home. And he doesn't ever want to lose that, because truthfully, he would be lost without him.


End file.
